~sexy_biatch~
August 15th '05, 01:16 PM
The European Commision has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European nation rather than German which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majest's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvemeny and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servents jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growning publik enthusiasm in the sekond year wheen the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the"f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" int eh languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze inesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a leil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali fum tru And we will all be speaking bl**dy German like they wanted in the first place!!!
Gesundheit
xx
As part of the negotiations, Her Majest's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvemeny and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servents jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growning publik enthusiasm in the sekond year wheen the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the"f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" int eh languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze inesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a leil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali fum tru And we will all be speaking bl**dy German like they wanted in the first place!!!
Gesundheit
xx